I read every post on this thread and realized (with much sadness) that almost every single reason mentioned for going back applies to my husband, who is in the process of going back. He isn't df'd, in fact he's never been baptized but wants to be. I feel helpless and don't think there is anything I can do to change his mind. The emotional blackmail and shunning from family in particular worked on him.
Closer to Fine
JoinedPosts by Closer to Fine
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55
Why do ones that got out come back in?
by moreconfusedthanever ini have not been to a meeting for about 2 years now.
i do not intend to go back but one thing has me baffled.
why do ones that have faded and been out for years return?
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How does one cope with the sudden and unexpected loss of a parent?
by My Name is of No Consequence inmy dad died of a blood clot as a result of surgery late last year.
to say that his death created a bottomless void in our family is an understatement.
i think about him every day, sometimes constantly.
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Closer to Fine
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is extremely difficult. You really do have to fight to get through each day, sometimes each hour when your grief is overwhelming. I can empathize with you a bit since my situation has some similarities. I've lost 4 members of my family in the past 4 years including both of my parents. We have, like you our childhood home and we need to find the courage to begin the process of letting go of it. My dad built it with his dad 60 years ago and raised our family there. 60 years worth of stuff, full of memories and we have to decide to keep or discard these things. The task is daunting. I admire your courage for starting that very difficult task.
I think group therapy and/or one on one therapy is very beneficial too. I wasn't able to talk to anyone about my grief so I searched online for help instead. I found a website run by grief therapists called what's your grief dot com. Loads of helpful information on that site as well as lots of podcasts. I was able to listen to the therapy podcasts while at work and they helped me tremendously. I listened everyday for weeks and learned so much about coping with grief. You may want to look at that website to see if it can help you too. Hey free therapy is always a good thing isn't it?
Sounds like your Dad was a really wonderful man. I'm sure he will be missed terribly by all of those that loved him. Take good care of yourself. I don't believe it ever goes away completely, but with time it will become a bit easier to cope with your grief.
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Episode 4 of This JW Life is out now......
by dubstepped inspent all day yesterday writing two episodes and recording and editing one podcast of this jw life.
so, episode 4 of my podcast is now out.
i took a minute away from my story (though it is still laced throughout this one) to lay out what goes on inside of a kingdom hall, who the players are, what they believe, and hopefully set a foundation that will help explain my story as one.
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Closer to Fine
I often listen to podcasts at work. I look forward to listening to yours, dubstepped. Thank you very much.
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Watchtower teaches that Jesus dying on the stake is no longer certain
by Listener inthe watchtower has held for many years that jesus died on a stake and held strongly to this teaching.
w 1951 3/15 the above agrees with the new world translation of the christian greek scriptures in its appendix, page 769, in saying that the instrument upon which jesus was nailed was a stake without a crossbeam, and not the religiously represented “cross”; and that the greek word used for that instrument in ancient time meant a “stake” and not the conventional religious cross.
they are no longer certain on this point.
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Closer to Fine
The cross vs stake argument has always been a big deal for my husband. It is one of the points he clings to as "proof" the jws are the one and only true religion. The funny thing is that when he is asked to explain what the "proof" is, the only thing he cites is that it couldn't have been a cross since there weren't many trees back then and they wouldn't waste the wood by using a crossbeam. Is that something the org has cited as "proof" - the lack of trees? It seemed like a very weak argument but I kept quiet (as I usually do regarding all things jw related).
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So, any comments from the Memorial?
by NewYork44M inperhaps i missed the comments, but i did not see a lot of comments from, or about, the memorial.
it happened last night, right?.
in years past the jwn board was hot with comments.
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Closer to Fine
NY44m - I wish I was kidding. The love bombing he gets when he's there puts him in almost a trance like state of mind. He will start going to more meetings now. He always does after the memorial.
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So, any comments from the Memorial?
by NewYork44M inperhaps i missed the comments, but i did not see a lot of comments from, or about, the memorial.
it happened last night, right?.
in years past the jwn board was hot with comments.
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Closer to Fine
I can't explain why, since I didn't go, but my jw was on the phone all evening talking to friends about it being the best memorial ever!!
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Russia and the letter writing
by Listener inthis is the whole of the instructions that the watchtower gave jws when writing to russian officials -.
content • you are writing to the official to request his intervention.
express the hope that the russian authorities will stop the legal action being taken against the branch office and the congregations in russia so that our brothers and sisters can continue to gather peacefully for christian meetings without interference.
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Closer to Fine
NikL - I too thought they were supposed to remain neutral on all things political. I wonder if silence is the reaction all jws are giving when faced with the neutrality question?
I also thought they wanted governments to turn on religion because this is a sign that the big A is starting? Didn't they show it in a video at their last convention when they were meeting in secret and the authorities showed up in the last scene? I thought they were looking forward to this actually happening because they see it as prophecy? I'm confused as to why they would try to stop it from happening by writing a bunch of letters.
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Business Slow at JW Literature Trolley
by Athanasius inyesterday i stopped at a local shopping center to pick up a few things.
i arrived at 9:45 am and two jw ladies had already set up their literature trolley and had opened for business.
but i didn't see anyone stopping by and taking advantage of their free literature.
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Closer to Fine
Funny how if you ask a jw about the carts you get a completely different story (at least I did). My SIL told me about a year ago how happy she was that jah blessed them with the carts and how much she loves using them in fs. She said she is reaching so many more people than she was in the door to door work and that so many interested ones approach her throughout the day. This is the same SIL that also told me that those that leave/retire from bethel are taken care of financially by the org for the rest of their lives. She's really quite sweet though and I think she just sees what she wants to see.
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I need some advice please
by JaMu ini am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.
most of the relationship has been long distance.
when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.
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Closer to Fine
his parents will be looking at you as a potential convert which will be why their reaction was claimed to be not so negative. I suspect in reality, they reacted more strongly than was indicated to you
Incognito is correct. This is exactly what happened to me. For years my spouses family was pretty nice to me most of the time. Although they often called me 'worldly' and I hate that term. The reason they were kind most of the time is because they held out hope they could convert me someday. When they started pressing me pretty hard to get baptized I said I wasn't interested in becoming a jw. Since then the only time I hear from them is if they need money (sadly, I'm not joking). Please continue your research before you commit to marrying a jw.
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I need some advice please
by JaMu ini am a non-jw girl dating a jw man for almost 5 years now since end of high school.
most of the relationship has been long distance.
when we started dating, we wanted a serious long term relationship that would end in marriage one day.
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Closer to Fine
Please read Carla's post multiple times - it is the hard truth! I too am a ubm and can confirm that being married to a jw is very difficult at times. For years mine was inactive and we actually did holidays and lead a pretty normal life. Now things have changed and all of the jw 'requirements' are back in our life. No holidays etc... (although I did xmas last year on my own) my spouse didn't participate at all. That part I'm actually ok with. The part I'm not ok with is that even though I haven't changed much over the years, now since the jw mindset has kicked back in, I am now considered a follower of satan. My spouse has no problem telling me this either. I don't attend any church and I'm still considered to be on satans team and not jehovahs. My point is that even if your boyfriend doesn't seem like an uber-jw (and he's not at this point if he is dating you, a 'worldly girl') things can change as the years go on and if he decides to become more involved with his religion your life will most likely become much more difficult because of it.
When I was young and married a jw I knew nothing about them and their beliefs. If I was young again and faced with your choice I would pass and look for someone else that I'm more compatible with. My advice is do a lot more research on the jws before you marry him so at a minimum at least you will know what you're getting yourself into. I wish you the best and welcome you to the forum.